A Shadowy Past

 Its has been 3 long years, since that nightmare happened to me, since Shravs left, since my soul left me.

I couldn’t forget how i sleeplessly tossed on my bed, holding my bed sheet into my fists and my cries escaping into the silence of the dark. With no one to share and no one to feel the way I felt.

Every time I see my wardrobe I couldn’t forget how my shravya played with my shirt buttons.

When ever I comb my hair, I would get a chill shiver down my spine as I missed forever, the soft feel  of  her fingers ruffling through my hair.

Every place where we spent out time together, started to plunge my heart with a silence, a silence more powerful than anything a heart could bear, a feeling which is more crucifying than death itself.

My heart became soo heavy as I couldn’t get those moments back when my angel used to rest her ears on my heart to hear the sound of my heart beat say her name.

I don’t even remember the last time I smiled with my heart, my smile faded away with the passing time, i even remember those words which i say to my shravs “your smile makes me smile” and her smile left me for a true time

Everything  that brought a smile to my face now started torturing me. Here I stand in the world’s most crowded places, alone , motionless , with a deathly smile, and without my shravs my heart is getting worse day by day..so much pain , so much grief that even my tears have dried up. I feel pain and i could feel my heart bleeding, and yet I walk calm with peace as I just crossed a moment that made me far from shravs.

But now I'm all alone,and I can't stop thinkin' of shravs
To hold her in my arms once again Is all I wanna do
I can't stop thinking of her, and I wouldn't even if I could
I keep waking up with dreams of her..always and always
Have anyone felt they way I felt, have anyone felt living is more worse than dying, have anyone lived to die. But I live to die.

Near, far where ever you are, my heart does love you for a lifetime

you will stay forever like this in my heart, though you moved away from me to my memories, like ‘A Shadowy Past’

(dedicated to an idiotic friend of mine who is not responding to me from the past 2 days)

The Beginning Of a New End

Memories keep on blazing with time, heaping like a pile of breaths..

But the memory I share, a three year old one, is till afresh, stirring my blood even today, making my heart a parchment of paper.

           I clearly remember the strike of the midnight hour on my wall clock.                                                                                                                                               Not a second had passed, shravys called me

           “hi baby..happy birthday..!!!”  she said in her most childish voice “what is my baby doing??”       

“thank you darls, where is my gift shravys..??” i said seeing the same moon which she is seeing from her window.

“oh my baby darling, I am giving you the gift which u want the most...” she paused, took a heavy breath, then she sighed.. and she started “iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv...”

and before she could complete those magical words,

I said “no darls, not now, I want you to say it eye to eye”

“ok baby, papa is leaving to B’lore, I will come along with him, and ask him to drop me...ok chweety??”

“love you idiot” I said with a loud laughter

I still remember that laughter has woken up my mom, and she rushed to my room to check if everything was fine.

And i had to cut her call as my friends were also trying on the line.

after all the wishes have ended, I went to my draw and saw the gold ring ,which I kept safe for this moment.

I started to count the seconds as minutes, I don’t know when I zapped into sleep.

“Harsha..Harsha..” someone jolted me back to reality... “Prasad uncle and Shravya are hit with a accident..come on fast..get ready..need to go” said my father in a deep perspiring tone.

“WHAT ...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”  I shouted back at my father.. “this is impossible..it can never happen”

“son, there’s nothing much to worry, just a minor scratches, rest everything was fine” assured my father

I raced to my bike and I immediately went to hospital where they were admitted,

My aunt was breaking down to tears.

Doctor said that , my uncle escaped with a few fractures and..and my Shravya is counting minutes.

I was crestfallen, my knees started shaking with coldness, I collapsed on the chairs behind me..

“c-can I-I see he-her” my voice stammered.

“be brave my child” said the Doc tapping my shoulder

I rubbed of my tears, and I started to take heavy steps to the ICU.

What can I see was only a pile of bandages crushed into a bag.

She is wide awake panting, struggling to take breaths. My tears found their own way through my eyes.

She lifted her hand towards me and was telling “co-com” and her fingers trembling.

I immediately rushed to her taking her hand in my two hands and I broke into a million tears.

She called me close

She raised her hand to wipe off my falling tears, she failed to do so, her hand was not responding  

“nothing will happen to you darls, I will do anything to get you back to me” I said crying and kissing her forehead.

“h-hey bab-y do-don’t cry” she said uttering words with highest difficulty “m-my thr-oat is b-burning sweety”

All I could do is to sit and stare at her pain, I was unable to see her in that condition

I was hitting my heart..and I felt something hard in my pocket, ‘MY RING’

I took it out, and I took her blood bathed finger and I encircled the ring around her finger.

I could see hey eyes becoming wet

“hap bday baby..I-I lo-love..................................................”

And before she could complete her words, the mission gave a loud beep..and I lost her to eternity.

I just fell over the ground curling all around , my hands turning into fists and I was sobbing.

Far apart from what was happening, I was still in a vacuum, the truth I faced was too hard to accept.

There were a lot of painful cries all around.

Though I didn’t see what was happening, I could guess what was happening,

I could see her hand over the edge of the bed, I tried to get up from the ground, but was unable to get up, I tumbled down several times..and couldn’t even get up, my legs were trembling

With much effort I stood on my knees, seeing her I was hitting my heart..

“when you wanted to say ‘I LOVE YOU’ I stopped you from saying..and I wanted to hear you went away to a place I could never hear” I said kissing her hand and brought to my heart and rested over there.

3 days over since her burial, I never let anyone take off that ring from her hand. It belongs to her, forever and ever. I know she was not there to the world, but not to me, she gave me a millions of memories to live a life time.

And so her memories ticked off ‘The Beginning of a New End’

(DEDICATED TO CHINNU , FOR GIVING ME HER EAR TO SHARE MY PAIN AND PROVIDING ME HAPPINESS TO LAST FOR...THANQ MY FRIEND)

Where I stand..

THIS IS WHERE I STAND..THIS IS WHERE I STAND
BETWEEN THE LOVE OF COMPANIONS AND THE BETRAYAL OF FRIENDS 

THIS IS WHERE I STAND..THIS IS WHERE I STAND
FIGHTING THE WORLD EVERYDAY TO CREATE A BETTER TOMORROW 

THIS IS WHERE I STAND..THIS IS WHERE I STAND
ONE STEP HIGHER AND ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE JOURNEY TO STARS 

THIS IS WHERE I STAND..THIS IS WHERE I STAND
WITH HOPES AND ASPIRATIONS THAT INSIPRE THE REST


THIS IS WHER I STAND...THIS IS WHERE I STAND
ALONE FROM THE REST..WORKING FOR THE REST

THIS IS WHERE I STAND..BUT WHERE IS THE PLACE U STAND...!!!!

footprints with time

Two young lovers, Walking on the sand,
Gazing at each other, Talking hand in hand,
The prints they leave behind them,
Marking memories of the past,
The long beach laid before them,
Hoping love will last,
The ocean captures the footprints,
And erases them from the shore,
Taking with it remembrances,
And leaving them with more, 

Many years have passed,
Time flies when you're having fun,
And before you know it innocence fades,
And the teen years are done,
Now she's back on the beach,
Except she is alone,
Watching and waiting,
For the love that hadn't grown,
She walks along the ocean,
Two footprints, not four,
Wondering where the laughter went,
Why he didn't love her more,
Then she stops to sit,
And draws his name in the sand,
A celestial stranger comes along,
And reaches out a hand,
Hesitantly she takes it,
And he listens to her cries,
He's been there before,
He's heard many lies,
They decide to walk,
And she follows, not knowing why, 

Love will always be reborn again,
Even if it may die,
She is more cautious than before,
And as she looks back at the footprints,
She smiles seeing not two, but four,
This time will be different,
Her heart trying to say,
Something magical happened,
She felt it the first day,
Something clicked when they touched,
A jolt from inside,
She knew he'd be there always,
If she had something to confide, 

Now here it is twenty years later,
And his love for her,
Is now even greater,
He looks at her like the first time they met,
And despite all the years gone by,
They can never forget,
Those four special footprints,
That are never washed away,
They'll stay forever on her heart,
Until their dying day.

love................

Love....!!!!!

is it a word or a sentence with no full stop..?

i never thought that one person would make such great tremendous change in my life...very tough even to dream....

Why is this happening..something magical..something which happens in one second and remains 4ever...if i had answers for everything..then, there would be no meaning of love...

its something which just find the deepest depths Of the heart to live and pains us when it leaves...

its truly inspiring and soo majestic feeling which i can never leave in my entire life...!!!!!

                       But when it comes to my personal life..i am literally a person who hates the face and the feel of love..

i thought it could never ever touch me...but on august 24 it hit me like a tsunami..may be even more powerful than i could never imagine..

                      Today sitting in the ac two tier coach i never thought in i my life that , memories hurt a lot like this one...i always thought that, at the end of the day good memories only bring us laughing tears..but , this the memory of the person whom i loved soo much only brought me a scar so deep , so mesmerising yet soo painfull...